Waiting for Immanuel

This Christmas is already different from all that came before. My heart has been captured by new thoughts and new friendships. God’s Word is a sharp sword clearing a deep and wide path through tangled woods, opening a clear path for my feet to walk, allowing the sunlight to pierce through what was a dark canopy over my head. Does this season look different for you?

After a long year of pestilence, God has picked me up, moved me over to a new place, and set me down. I look around in wonder. I am no longer walking alone. There are women in front of me, pointing the way. There are women beside me, who call my name in joy, who take my hand in theirs, who walk beside me. I am overwhelmed.

Read More
Looking For God's House

There must be something in us that longs for holy ground. A holy place where we can easily find our God. I think of the holy places I have visited over the past weeks. Places built by human hands and heartfelt desire to honor the holy, to touch the Spirit – which I know is God – and to feel His presence.

My journey into holy places started in Arkansas. I had changed our course westward to visit two glass chapels – both built in the quiet of the woods, both designed by the architect E. Fay Jones. The first one we visited is called Thorncrown and was built through God's grace a few miles above the mountain town of Eureka Springs. We were the last visitors of the day to peer up into the wooden rafters that reached to the heavens, leaving as the couple who had arranged to be married there arrived in a bright red pickup truck. The groom was happy to oblige with having their picture taken although his bride had not yet slipped into her dress.

Read More
Watching

God created them for watching. They stand alert, unmoving, waiting. Their eyes look straight into mine. Direct. Searching. Their ears, high and open, tilting, rotating toward the slightest sound. Their noses are dark and round, twice the size of their almond eyes, hiding their mouths underneath.

They are interrupting my sunrise watch, these deer who silently arrive each morning, quietly waiting to see if I am friend or foe. This morning there are fourteen of them; bucks with their awkward antlers, does who lag slightly behind, and the fawns who stay mostly hidden in the taller grasses.

Read More
The Meditation of My Heart

Friday morning, I awoke in Tucson. In the 1970s themed hotel where we were staying, I had played Linda Ronstadt's album Hasten Down the Wind on the record player and sang along to,

“By the rivers of Babylon

Where we sat down

And there we wept

When we remembered Zion

For the wicked carry us away

Captivity require from us a song

How can we sing King Alpha's song in a strange land?

So let the words of our mouth

And the meditations of our hearts

Be acceptable in thy sight

Over I”

Or at least that is the way I remembered the lyrics…

Read More
Seeking the Light

The morning after night number two in the desert. The sun shines hot against my face and my shoulder and the side of my leg. The dog snaps at flies that buzz her. The prairie grasses balance glowing feather tops shimmering in the smallest breeze. Purple mountains rim the horizon line. The blue of the sky is the deepest, most intense color I have ever seen in the vast heavens over my head. It is morning.

It is the night that makes me nervous. I want to sit under the darkening canopy as the moon becomes visible in the southern sky and the first stars appear. It will be a while before the sky is blue-black enough to play backdrop for the starry host. I have seen the thousands of lights spread across the heavens. But by then the cold has descended and I don't tarry – seeking instead the warmth of my blanket.

Read More
Notes on Perseverance

My dear sweet Seleesha gave me a new word, perseverance. It is a good word for me to hold onto this morning as I wait for the sun to rise over the orange canyons outside my wall of windows here in Utah. Perseverance.

I am on a 40-day journey into the wilderness. Sometimes wilderness looks like the poverty of Memphis, sometimes it looks like the torn-up roads of Oklahoma City. Sometimes it looks like the new-age mysticism of Sante Fe, sometimes it looks like the destroyed wreckage of Amarillo. Yes, I am still awakened in the night from the deep ache of bruises from our car accident there – but I am healing. And persevering.

Read More
Georgia Tanner Comment
The Woman and Her Dog and The Rain

She was still there, the woman and her dog in the rain. I had seen her an hour before as we turned right off the frontage road on our way to the family-owned restaurant here in Amarillo. The rain clouds had hovered across the skyline as we drove into town, blue and heavy with misty sheets of rainfall in the distance. We had loaded our belongings into the Quonset barn with polished concrete floors, Pottery Barn furnishings, and the homemade brownies welcoming us under their glass dome and then climbed back into the car in search of dinner as the rain started. It was our fourth city in seven days. We had explored Memphis and Eureka Springs and Oklahoma City on this journey to see some of America.

Read More
This Fragile Life

This summer I had the privilege of watching a pair of nuthatches sing their calls back and forth to each other, taking turns to fly in and then out again of the blue and green woven basket that held sand buckets and shovels and their babies. At first, they were cautious and noticeably hesitant for I had invaded their space.

Weeks before, I had started lifting out of the basket the big yellow dump truck when I realized there was a pine needle-colored nest with bird eggs somewhere halfway down. Oh no. I backed away; sure that I had destroyed some momma's happy home. Jeff told me a couple of days later he had seen a nuthatch fly into my writing shed. Open-air, tin-roofed, rafters high, it overlooks the sandbox where Barrett and Mikah build sandcastles and dig for treasure. The perfect place to raise a bird family. I kept my fingers crossed.

Read More
When God Shows Up: The Impossible Stories of Sarah and Hagar

This is the story of God showing up. In unlikely places. At unlikely times. With impossible messages for two women who are in impossible situations. But God has a question for both, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” It is a good question. We will do well to think about it.

Last week we left Hagar, pregnant and alone in the desert. God had sent His angel to find her - telling her she was seen, and she was heard. He sent her back into the tents of Sarai, with the name of her coming son whispering reassurance in her heart, “Ishmael – The Lord hears.”

Read More
The Terribly Bad Decisions of Sarai and The Outsider Hagar

There they are, pretty much at the beginning of the story. We usually concentrate on Abraham, but these days I am thinking about the relationships between women and our brokenness, so I have been spending time with Sarai (who will soon be renamed Sarah) and Hagar.

They are a mess.

And they are crucial to this story God tells us about His plan for saving the whole world. Sort of funny, that. Think about it. God decided to put His plan for redemption into the womb of an old woman… a beautiful woman – but an old discouraged lost all hope and what little there was of faith woman.

Read More
And the Women Who Followed

The church where I belong has a very active Women’s Ministry. It has been exciting for me to be embraced by all these women, the circle growing each time I attend a new event or show up for weekly prayer together. Recently I encountered a whole new thing. These women not only reach out to wrap their arms around one another, but they also reach out to other women. The ones outside the circle.

Yesterday I heard some of their stories. The woman just out of jail since last week. The woman who declared she was told her whole life that she was unlovable - only to experience now being loved deeply by God. The woman who shared the photograph taken on her wedding day, after coming out of a ten-year spiral of heroin and homelessness. The woman who begged another to sing for her and sobbed with her head down as she sang the loving words of the Savior.

Read More
Fighting Words

I know my mother’s sixth great-grandmother was in Chester County, Pennsylvania at the time the words were written - because somewhere there are letters, acknowledging her gifts of financial assistance for supplies for the militia. She was recently widowed, her husband’s Last Will and Testament not yet filed. It could wait. She probably had her hands full trying to keep the farm running. I am not sure if Daddy’s family had yet made it to Virginia. These are the smallest echoes of a bloodline traced back across the miles and the years unknown.

What I do know is there was never any doubt in our home as I grew up - two hundred years later - that this was a sacred nation which my family had been honored and willing to serve - by picking up arms and laying down their lives. Every generation wore a uniform and went where they were needed. I have always known that I have gotten off far too easy; because others did the hard things.

Read More
Abiding in Him

Yesterday I had a twenty-minute sweet and exciting conversation with a woman who could be a friend one day. She doesn’t fit into my usual circle of women who look like me. When I first saw her a week ago, I selfishly prayed, “Lord, no, no, no… I don’t want to go there!”

You see, during this year of fear and pestilence, God has had me treading water in mighty waves of silence. I thought he had me on a sure path in one direction, but He has been preparing my mind and my heart to swim in unfamiliar waters to a different shore.

Read More
Teach Your Children Well

We have some rules in place in our family; always slip folding money into the red pot of the bell-ringers at Christmas, always buy cookies from the Girl Scouts who show up at your door, and whenever possible, stop to buy lemonade at neighborhood children’s stands. This week, as Maybelle and I took a morning walk, there were three siblings with a table set up, open for business. “Oh no,” I thought as I approached, “I don’t have a single dollar on me!”

"What are y'all selling?" I asked, thinking I could return with cash. The middle child, a girl, held up a new blue kitchen sponge. "We have a sponge for 3 dollars." I decided I didn't need a sponge at the moment. The youngest volunteered, "We have lemonade and tea. Do you want a sample?" as he held up a large blue Solo cup. By now I have noticed the table; instead of the rather traditional pitcher of lemonade or small disposable dixie cups, these entrepreneurs, in addition to the aforementioned sponge, have small red bottles lined up in rows on their folding table.

Read More
Taking Offense

We tiptoe around each other these days, careful not to offend. I have found myself stumbling into a land mine more than once over the past year or two. Those encounters have left me cautious, taking a step back from others I once held close, trying to calculate what is safe conversation and what is likely to be met with a sharp retort. “Sorry,” I think in surprise, pulled up short.

A new friend of mine prayed from across the room recently, “Lord, do not let me be easily offended!” Ah, I thought. There we have it. If we follow that God-man Jesus, we must not be easily offended. We must be filled with love and gentleness and self-control, not pride that is easily offended. Easily wounded. Fragile on our own little pedestals.

Read More
The Faith of the Friends

It is a story you may know well. I thought I did. It is about a paralyzed man’s sins being forgiven. But it is also about the love and the faith of his friends. These men cared so much, they believed so much that no obstacle would prevent them from carrying their friend into the healing arms of Jesus. Am I that determined, that passionate about the life of my friends?

Thursday morning I listened as Toria Peterson taught this scripture of the paralyzed man lowered through the ceiling tiles, hoping for a miracle. It is an important story, showing up not only in Luke but also in the Gospels of Matthew (9:1-8) and Mark (2:1-12). I am in the process of writing the story of Jesus and I had written about this exact passage last spring. I posted that writing in March of this year, but I had missed something. I missed the faith of the friends!

Read More
A Song of Love

Here is my confession. I am quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. It is easy to forget the heart of my husband.

Last night in the middle of the night I felt the presence of our dog Maybelle by the side of my bed. Not where she usually sleeps. I thought I had heard a car on the street start their engine and drive away. Opening my eyes, I realized there were still lights on in the house. Slipping on my bedroom shoes, I stepped over the dog and padded into the living room, where the foyer lights were blazing, the front porch light on. Front door locked. Good. Turning off the lights, I glanced toward the den where a low light burned. My husband must have fallen asleep watching television. I decided to let him be. I returned to bed. It was 2:45 AM.

Dozing off, I hear the alarm chime as the front door opens. A few minutes later my husband tries to quietly slip into the bed beside me. I sit up, and with annoyance in my tone ask, “What in the world are you doing?”

Read More
Rest

I am walking on the beach at Tybee Island with my husband, teenage son, and daughter. It is August 2007. We are waiting for sunset this late Saturday afternoon. I am listening intently on the phone as my sister's best friend Carol quotes this scripture passage. She is telling me that my sister, who has been throwing up for three days as her body rejects the nutrients she has been receiving through a catheter during this last-ditch effort to prolong her life for just a few more months, has claimed this scripture as her comfort.

First, let me tell you, I am not the person who talks on the phone when I am with other people. I pour all my attention into the people I am with. But this was a major exception. My sister was Jewish. My sister was dying. And now, in the space of four days, my mother, and now Kathy’s best friend both were telling me that Kathy had accepted Jesus as her Savior.

Read More