Notes on Perseverance

You gave a wide place for my steps under me,  and my feet did not slip.    Psalm 18:36 ESV

My dear sweet Seleesha gave me a new word, perseverance. It is a good word for me to hold onto this morning as I wait for the sun to rise over the orange canyons outside my wall of windows here in Utah. Perseverance.

I am on a 40-day journey into the wilderness. Sometimes wilderness looks like the poverty of Memphis, sometimes it looks like the torn-up roads of Oklahoma City. Sometimes it looks like the new-age mysticism of Sante Fe, sometimes it looks like the destroyed wreckage of Amarillo. Yes, I am still awakened in the night from the deep ache of bruises from our car accident there – but I am healing. And persevering.

I am persevering in pursuing good things. Keeping an open hand to remind me to keep an open heart. Asking God each morning before the sun has found the horizon to order my day to suit His will. Asking Him to soften my hard heart, to cleanse me of old hurts and scars I hold onto, to silence my judgmental thoughts and words. It is a tall order I am asking God to fill 

.This traveling into unknown lands is a gift and it is a steady study in persevering. A balance between careful organization and embracing spontaneity. From my background in film production, I have a ring binder tabbed with each destination; where we are staying, check-in/check-out information, things to do, places to see, recommended restaurants. But when suddenly we meet two brothers who are on a road trip in the parking lot of a hotel in Green River and they tell us about Oscar’s Café in Zion, we file that information away in the corners of our brain. A couple of days later when the documents from the insurance company haven’t arrived at our house in Kanab and so we can’t make it to the bank to get them notarized before they close, we set our GPS for Oscar’s Café, an hour’s drive away. In getting there, we see Zion’s canyons a day earlier than we had planned as the sun goes down orange on the red walls behind us. Careful plans that embrace spontaneity may be the key to perseverance. That and trusting the Lord to order our steps – wherever they may lead.

On this journey, there is another interesting observation - a contrast of sorts. I am with one person day and night and day again. Sometimes we are in a car. Which is packed and repacked every other day. With a dog. We stay the night in nonmemorable motels, or a beautiful modern house with an observation deck on the roof, or a no-frills 1940's national park cabin, or a canvas-covered dome on the edge of canyonlands. Or a barn in Amarillo. A very, very nice barn. Often, we are in one room. My man stays up late. I get up early. Sometimes there is no internet, no phone service. No television – thank you, Lord. So, there is a blanket of isolation that lays over us as we travel. 

But then, there are all those people out there in those big overwhelming places. Yesterday I listened to the stories of Two Feathers, our Navajo guide through Antelope Canyon, who played his hand-carved flute for us as we looked out over Horseshoe Bend. My companion through the desert canyon was Becky, a jewelry designer who travels the world is going through a relationship break up, and feels the powerful energy of the places she visits. And our dinner host was Victor from Queens who bought the restaurant 17 years ago and took all the pictures on the walls and tells funny stories as he makes his rounds from table to table and loves people and if you don't you shouldn't be in the service industry.

So, we are alone, but together. We are organized, but spontaneous. We are moving forward expectantly. We are persevering. Wherever this journey may lead.

I am reminded of a beautiful passage in Psalms God showed me one night many years ago in a hotel room in Chicago. I was there on a work trip – a commercial shoot for Montgomery Ward. That tells you how long ago that was! The Executive Producer from the advertising agency had just called a meeting with my business partner and me to tell us the concepts and expectations had changed – and we needed to pull a rabbit out of a hat. It was unexpected. It was going to be very difficult to succeed. And God took me here. 

For who is God, but the Lord?

    And who is a rock, except our God?

The God who equipped me with strength

    and made my way blameless.

 He made my feet like the feet of a deer

    and set me secure on the heights.

He trains my hands for war,

    so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze.

You have given me the shield of your salvation,

    and your right hand supported me,

    and your gentleness made me great.

You gave a wide place for my steps under me,

    and my feet did not slip.    Psalm 18:31-36

God had placed my feet in a wide space. There was room to move. Room to grow. Room to fail and succeed and explore and to push beyond. I was not alone. Or fenced in. Or limited. Wide spaces. No need to quit or give up. Keep pushing. Keep going. Persevere. There might be something more just around the corner.

The sun is coming up and there are wide places to explore. Where is God placing your feet today?