The Terribly Bad Decisions of Sarai and The Outsider Hagar
Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!”
Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away. Genesis 16:5-6 NLT
There they are, pretty much at the beginning of the story. We usually concentrate on Abraham, but these days I am thinking about the relationships between women and our brokenness, so I have been spending time with Sarai (who will soon be renamed Sarah) and Hagar.
They are a mess.
And they are crucial to this story God tells us about His plan for saving the whole world. Sort of funny, that. Think about it. God decided to put His plan for redemption into the womb of an old woman… a beautiful woman – but an old discouraged lost all hope and what little there was of faith woman.
You may not remember the story. Most of us do not. Let me start off by giving you a short paragraph telling the big picture of each of them to help you catch up.
If Sarai was here with us, she would tell you, “I was self-destructive and broken but God brought me laughter.” Sarai was dependent on a lying husband (that would be Abraham) who abandoned her when he feared for his own safety, yet she remained faithful. Desperate for a child, she sacrificed the intimacy of her marriage and the trust of her closest friend for her own advantage. But God visited her and brought laughter into her life. Her story can be found in Genesis 12:10-20, 16:1-6, 17:21, 18:1-15, 21:1-7.
If Hagar was here with us, she would tell you, “I was invisible, cast out and broken but God saw me.” Hagar was powerless over her own life and under the authority of others. She was used for sex (for the child she could deliver) and discarded. Angry, she struck back at others. Abused, she ran away. But God pursued her into the wilderness (not once but twice!). God saw her. God guided her. God promised a future for her son. Her story can be found in Genesis 16 and 21:8-21.
The operative words here are, “But God…”
The story started when God called a man named Abram to follow Him. God led him into a land He promised would be for Abram and his descendants. Those descendants would come through his wife Sarai. Abram followed. Sort of. But when times get rough, he didn’t quite trust this God. So, he took off for the foreign land of Egypt. Egypt always seems to be waiting in the wings offering something better. Or worse. Anyway, Abram got scared. His wife was so very beautiful, he was afraid the Egyptians would murder him to get to her - so, he just went ahead and offered her up, “She’s just my sister – go ahead – you can have her for your harem.” This is how we first meet Sarai. Beautiful, but abandoned at the drop of a hat by her husband. Well, that’s a lovely marriage.
God was not happy with this situation. The Pharoah and all his harem became ill until he discovered the very married Sarai was the problem. Sarai and her husband Abram are invited to leave Egypt and when they return to Canaan, their promised land, an Egyptian slave named Hagar accompanies them.
About now, we begin to understand there is a big problem with this plan of God to bless Abram (and the whole world) with descendants that outnumber the stars in the night sky. Apparently, Sarai is infertile. They have been married a long, long time and she has never known the joy of conceiving a baby. And Sarai is getting older. And older. This is a problem.
If you have longed for a child and had difficulty conceiving, I don’t need to explain Sarai’s heartbreak to you. And in this culture at this time, a woman who could not produce children was considered without worth. Her value depended on the sons she would give her husband to carry on the family line. That was really all that mattered. No son, no value.
So, while Abram is wandering around talking with God about the stars and the number of grains of sand in the desert, Sarai comes upon what seems like a pretty good plan to her. There she is, Hagar. She is young. She is pretty enough. She is dependent on Sarai. She has no family or friends here in this foreign land. Why not have her conceive a child by Abram and then they can just call that child their own and the problem is solved, and everyone can get on with this business of prospering in the new land.
Sounds good, right?
We know what happens. Sarai introduces this idea to Abram, he agrees to it (yeah – that probably didn’t take too much convincing), Sari’s plan works, Hagar conceives Abram’s child, and everybody is happy. Or not.
Hagar is not happy. She is young and I am just guessing, she may have looked up to the woman she served, Sarai, as someone she cared for and trusted. They were together every day. Hagar was Sarai’s constant companion. Hagar was there for Sarai to serve her every need and to make sure she was well taken care of. Perhaps they slept in the same tent. They ate together, they spent hours together, like family. And now Sarai has used Hagar for her own needs. And not only that – when Hagar’s child is born, it will not be her own – but will be Sarai’s. I am betting Hagar feels betrayed. Used. Angry. Yeah. And it shows.
Hagar is not happy. Sarai is not happy. And you know whose fault it is, right? Abram’s! (And God’s for closing her womb in the first place!) Listen in on this little conversation.
Then Sarai said to Abram, “This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!”
Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her as you see fit.” Then Sarai treated Hagar so harshly that she finally ran away.
We don’t think about Hagar too much in our nice neat little bible story world. But let’s think about her today. First, she is very alone. There was probably only one woman in her life – one relationship in her life – Sarai. Now the woman she was closest to has hurt her – possibly physically, emotionally, verbally. She must have been desperate. She runs away into a harsh, deadly place - the wilderness. She has nothing. She has no one. She has no hope.
But God.
This is the story I shared last week with women who can relate more to the story of Hagar than they can to the story of Sarai. We paused here to ask questions. To share their own stories of hurt and heartbreak. Their stories of being beaten, kicked, abused. Their stories of being pregnant and alone. Their stories of being abandoned by the ones they thought once cared for them. How do you undo such hurt? How do you enter into such pain and lift it off their shoulders?
Sometimes God sends us into the wilderness to speak for Him. To look into the face of another for Him.
The angel of the Lord found Hagar near a spring in the desert… And he said, “Hagar, slave of Sarai, where have you come from, and where are you going?” Genesis 16:7-8
The angel of the Lord found Hagar… I love the beginning of this statement. This is our God. Our God pursues us into the desert. He means to follow us into our despair and overtake us. He speaks to us. He asks us questions. “Where have you come from?” and, “And where are you going?”
These are really good questions. When we are in the wilderness, we need to ask these questions: “Where have I come from?” “How did I get here?” You might be like Hagar – circumstances beyond your control have knocked you off your feet. Or you may be more like Sarai – and some really bad decisions of your own have caused those around you a whole lot of pain and no small portion of trouble. Look closely – examine your heart. Don’t gloss over it. Own your actions. See your sin. Why? Because this God of ours doesn’t intend to leave you there – in the wilderness of loss – He asks the next question; “Where are you going?”
For Hagar, the solution seemed harsh. “Go back…” Let me say upfront, God never intends for us to live in a violent situation. We are never, ever to go back into the arms of someone who abuses us. Yet Hagar would be returning into the tents of Sarai with a new knowledge of who she was and where she was going. No longer alone, Hagar would be escorted by a God who not only saw her – but she now saw Him. And this would make all the difference.
God knew her future. He lays it out for her line by line. Her descendants would be too many to count. Her son would be named Ishmael – which means “The Lord hears”. And her son will be a fighter. When you read the scripture, the nature of her son seems a little disturbing – but that is not what she takes away from the conversation. This is her response.
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:3
Did you hear her? God saw her… and now she saw God! Seeing the God who sees us makes all the difference. It changes our world. It changed Hagar’s difficult, painful, powerless life into a life with a future. God saw her and spoke into her life. And now her eyes were open, and she could see Him!
This is what a relationship with the Lord looks like. Her circumstances are still hard. But God sees her. God hears her. And now she sees Him. She is not alone. She carries a child in her womb and hope in her heart.
I am imagining she went back into the tents of Sarai with a softer countenance, a sweeter attitude. Maybe she was more compassionate, kinder, more loving. She would give birth to Abraham’s son Ishmael. But that wouldn’t change the desperate hurt of Sarai… who God has now renamed Sarah. The story isn’t over. I have a feeling God is going to show up again. And do the things that only God can do.
To be continued…
Questions: Do you ever feel invisible? Do you think God sees you? What does a relationship with God look like for you?
God, You pursue me with power and glory
Unstoppable love that never ends
You're unrelenting with passion and mercy
Unstoppable love that never ends
You broke into the silence
And sang a song of hope
A melody resounding
In the deep of my soul
No sin, no shame, no past, no pain
Can separate me from Your love
No height, no depth, no fear, no death
Can separate me from Your love, Your love
Unstoppable Love Songwriters: Christa Black / Skyler Smith / Kim Walker-smith
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FHbT40exk0
Photo from Luz em Ação Brazil, Light in Action
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.