Making Your Mark
“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a NLT
There’s his mark. The little blue ink line on the front of my blue leather journal. Only an inch long, I know it is his.
He is fascinated these days with the marks an ink pen can make. It’s not that we give them to him. Lord, no. But we leave them scattered around the house like breadcrumbs to find our way back. I am sure he thinks they are there for his good pleasure.
On my refrigerator, there are drawings of cars climbing a mountain and motorcycles signed with a backward 'B'. But this morning as I pick up my journal to write about Peter, I am greeted with the boy's little line in ink. It is a reminder; "I am four years old and curious. I know I shouldn't, but I will. Just a little bit."
His mother's crayon marks inside the door of a closet remain. Little 'g's and a 'y'. A backward 'a'. It still surprises me to find it after all these years. It is a tiny moment I can't return to.
I have been wondering if a magic eraser would do its magic in removing the ink from my journal – you know, I do like my things neat and clean. But this morning I have decided to leave it be. Why not hold onto every reminder of a little one leaving his mark on the world?
Now, finally, on to the sentence in my mind this morning; it is not about a little boy with an ink pen – it is about a man named Peter. He also left his mark. The reminder of his presence is also written down in ink – never to be erased. Never to be forgotten. To be remembered from generation to generation.
Here is the thought, the sentence that led me here to my journal with my own ink pen; “Lately I have been walking with Peter.” He stays on my mind. You know the one. Peter the denier. Peter, the overly enthusiastic one who sinks when he has the chance to walk. Peter, who voices the words of Satan instead of listening to the words of Jesus. That one.
I haven't given Peter much thought over the last few years. I have been trailing behind Jesus. And John. And Paul. Tough acts to follow. These days, the Holy Spirit has put the name of Peter in my hands. Peter is much easier to walk along the edge of the shore beside. A little more human. A little more fallible. I wonder what made Jesus choose him.
Was there a discussion up in the heavenly throne room before Jesus departed? Or did Jesus recognize something dear in him as he put out to sea, the wind blowing his hair, his eyes crinkled from laughter?
I have decided I am glad Jesus chose Peter. Chose him to be one of the closest of the chosen ones. The one who asked the questions. The one the others pushed to the teacher’s desk when none of them understood. The one who wanted desperately to trust and believe and walk the walk of Jesus. But he was such a mess. All his mistakes and dullness and failures were listed out so plainly for all the world who cared to see.
I can relate to Peter. I can relate to being brought up short and quick by God’s sure voice. “You care more about what men think than what I think.” I hadn’t expected that. I hadn’t expected God’s voice to cut through into my thoughts and my heart like such a sharp knife. But there it was. I had been seeking his direction, his guidance. I had a book I had been writing – for a couple of years. I was afraid to step forward with it. It was embarrassing. It weighed heavy like a burden I couldn’t walk forward with, and I couldn’t lay down. I didn’t know what to do with it. What made me think I could write anything anyone would want to read? What if I looked foolish?
I know these are the thoughts that hold me back, paralyzed, frozen, immobile, glued to the ground. I am afraid of what others think of me. It paralyzes me when I should be striding forward; when I should be running the race. I should be listening to the voice of God – not the imagined voices of others.
This is why I blush with Peter. I squirm, uncomfortable when he jumps in and sinks. When he speaks and the wrong words come out. When he boasts his loyalty and fails.
But he doesn’t, does he? He is our encouragement. His failures were known by God before they happened. And Jesus chose him anyway. Maybe it was exactly because Peter would trip up and stumble. And then rise to stand again. And again. Beauty in the ashes. The warrior, triumphant with the broken sword.
I will spend some time with Peter. He lived out vividly the words of his one-time enemy turned friend named Paul; “…when I am weak, then I am strong…” Paul was always more eloquent than Peter. Better educated. Much smarter. He shared with others the upside of struggling with pain or weakness or hard things. He had asked God to remove the hardship, but God denied his request with this truth:
…Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me… when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9a,10b New Living Translation.
If you go on further in this passage with Paul, he says, “… you have made me act like the fool…” I know the feeling. But I think God is okay with that. So, I need to be.
God’s power works best in weakness. Peter gave God lots of opportunities to show His power, His strength.
Next week I will tell a roomful of women the words of Peter. Peter, who was terrified and foolish and said he had nothing to do with that man named Jesus. Peter, who, through weakness, was transformed and filled with the power of the Holy Spirit and testified in the streets and in the synagogue and in the very court before the very same men who had condemned Jesus. Peter not only claimed to know Jesus - he declared him Cornerstone and Savior, the long-awaited One of God. And the educated powerful men marveled that one so uneducated could speak so eloquently. So powerfully. (Acts 4:13)
God could use the foolishness of Peter to speak His words. Maybe He can use me.
Note: The transformation of Peter can be read about in the first 4 chapters of Acts. His words are much more power-filled when you remember his earlier broken promise to Jesus on that last night, “Lord, I am ready to go with you both to prison and to death.” Jesus knew what would unfold. “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again (after denying 3 times that you know me), strengthen your brothers.” Luke 22:31-34
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