Ghosted
I went looking for the church of my childhood
but I couldn’t find it.
they had torn out the baptismal
under the painting of river’s water
to make room for the drum set.
the long smooth wooden pews
where I had sat next to my grandmother
in the row of widows wearing black hats
had been exchanged for folding chairs set up in circles.
the wooden floors, carpeted over
the opaque blue-green windows,
replaced with energy-efficient clear glass.
I keep wanting to go there.
that sanctuary with hushed voices,
piano music and hymnals
invitations extended
men in suits and ladies in earbobs and necklaces
pocketbooks matching shoes
King James bibles and paper bulletins and familiarity.
But they won’t return my emails, and no one answers the phone.
I am thinking a lot about the modern church these days. I kind of miss the very old-fashioned one I grew up in. Teaching seemed to be very black and white and direct – the bible was true, and Jesus died for our sins. There just really was no question about the truth of those things. Those were the facts, pure and simple. These days we slip and slide around on shifting sands.
These days popular pastors in their progressive churches have made a compromise too far. They cannot say the bible is true or without error or even sacred. They are not too sure about Jesus. After all, who is to say everyone isn’t right? And righteous? Just trust your emotions and look out for yourself. That should turn out well. Don’t be too concerned about the buildings on fire around you.
I did all my spiritual wandering in my 20s and 30s until God told me I had strayed far enough, and it was time for me to come back to His side. It was quite a shock how easily I had conformed over the years to the cultural abyss. I had become numb to the lies parading as reliable facts. The first upending was when I realized I was not in charge of my life. I couldn’t be anything I wanted to be, after all. That had been a very heavy burden to carry. What a relief to hand my life back over to my Creator!
I had to give up my convenient idea of ‘a woman’s choice’ and admit to myself we were talking about a precious human’s little life. By that time, I had already experienced my maternal instinct which fights to protect and preserve my unborn child at any cost. How ridiculous that I had denied its power for so long.
Another little lie I had embraced was that all good people end up forever in a generic place called heaven. But I had forgotten that there was a price for admission. I had to admit that God allows us to choose if we want to be with Him or not. Some people choose not. That makes me incredibly sad – but seriously, if you do not believe in God and the sacrifice of His Son, why would you want to live with them eternally anyway?
Even though I had bought into the world’s thinking for a while, I always believed completely and totally in God. And Jesus. And the Holy Spirit. And the truth of The Word – of God-breathed scripture. I just chose to put them all on the shelf for a while. I knew I would pick them back up eventually. I had made sure the man I married thought the same thing. Thank God. Literally.
When I came back to follow God (instead of myself), He dropped me without blinking into a conservative, theologically sound body-of-believers where truth was taught. They loved me back to right thinking. They made it easy to trust again. And to fall back in love with God.
If you have strayed away from God, I hope you find your way back. It is pretty easy once you tell God you give up, you surrender, you fall, knowing He will catch you. You probably have been holding tightly to some sort of false teaching, listening to wrong voices, defending divisions with a voice too loud, and standing shaky on your pride. I have been there. It is exhausting. Get down off that tower you are building to heaven. It really isn’t going anywhere. And soon you will be speaking gibberish. Not understanding and not being understood. Remember that place called Babel?
Here are some promises of Jesus, written down long before your life began, which are trustworthy and true. Jesus did not seem to think there were many ways to his Father. I don’t think he would have bothered with the cross if he did. It would have been completely unnecessary.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.”
Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.” John 14:1-7 ESV
Thomas would have his doubts until he placed his fingers into the nail-scared hand. He would not be the last to ask questions. But the blood of Jesus would be his answer and he would stand firm unto death, believing.
Believing that Jesus alone is the way, is the truth, is the life. And there is only one way to the Father – through him. Jesus said it. Thomas believed it. And I do, too. In fact, there is a whole multitude of saints surrounding you, believing. Praying for you. Cheering you on. Believe. Jesus is trustworthy. He is true. There is only one way. Come on in, the water is fine.
Question: Do you know the Way?
KingsPorch // I Speak Jesus