Joy in the Darkness

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10 NIV

“Come on in,” she said. “The water feels great.” I dip a tentative toe in breaking the surface. I decide to go ahead and commit; the warm water bubbling hotter as I make my way down the tiled steps.

“There are deer grazing on the lawn below us,” she shares and makes her way through the water to gaze out at them. It has been a long weekend of overflowing abundance and I had been hoping for solitude and silence to soak up the last glow of the day as the sun set behind the snow-sprinkled Colorado mountains.

I quickly let the realization sink in that this woman has stories to tell as she moves through the water to sit even closer to me and begins to unspool her life, the information spilling out and puddling around her like a shiny satin ribbon.

The steam rises from the surface of the water and I press my lower back against the jet of hot water.

She speaks easily of the rattlesnakes in the summers and the coyotes the size of large dogs. I learn she has a son of 12 who dances and a 14-year-old daughter who had trouble reading because of the dyslexia jumble in her brain - until the teachers started teaching her through art. Somehow the letters and numbers fell into place. From the east coast, the west has welcomed her and her children and they are thriving in their Colorado world.

“My son was so angry,” she said, “when his father died. He was only seven. It was terrifying. You just never knew when he would explode in violence. Therapy didn’t do a thing.”

“Then one day he asked if he could try learning the routine as he waited at his sister’s dance class. And that changed everything. He loved it. He was good at it. And it calmed him. Hip-hop. Tap. Salsa and ballroom. And now he is learning ballet. It has saved his life,” she said.

“We travel as much as we can. Tonight we are celebrating me being cancer-free for ten years. Breast cancer. I pull them out of school about once a month to do something fun together. Because life is short. And I want them to enjoy it.”

“I don’t mean to be a downer,” she said. “I’m actually a joyful person. I just know you can’t wait to enjoy life.”

Her son wades into the water to retrieve her. She turns back to me as she leaves and extends her hand. “I’m Karen,” she says.

She shows her son how to push the button that will keep the jets going for another 15 minutes and slips away from the darkness of the now fallen night and disappears into the light of the indoor pool.

My longed-for silence descends.

This brief encounter with Karen has left me speechless. “I am a joyful person,” she said. Barely in her 40’s, she is a woman of loss; an encounter with cancer, a dead husband, a dyslexic daughter, and a son turned inside out with anger until he learned to dance. She had every reason to hold on tightly to pain, but she chose to define her life by joy.

For a woman (that would be me) who quotes ancient wisdom and even has a magnet with ‘The joy of the Lord is your strength’ on her kitchen wall, this woman Karen, deer watcher and loving mother, is a little bit fascinating. Would I possibly describe myself as a joyful person?

And I wonder if that conversation was meant for her… or for me?

A year has come and gone since my hot-tub conversation with this woman who described herself as a woman of joy – instead of a woman of loss.

I wish I could reach out and tell you, Karen, that I have not forgotten your words. And this is my prayer birthed from that cold Colorado evening.

May I remember to talk to strangers. May I remember to teach my children that life is short and you can’t wait to enjoy it. And may I remember to let go of loss and hold on tight to joy.

Question: Have you ever had a chance encounter that challenged how you are approaching life? Do you think God sometimes gives you the opportunity to walk for a moment in someone else’s shoes? Do you think ‘choosing joy’ would make a difference in your life?

King & Country Joy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lA7n7TwPDmw

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Small StoriesGeorgia TannerMay 12, 2020Comment