“Most beautiful of women, is your beloved different from everyone else? What is there so wonderful about him?”  Song of Solomon 5:9 

Here is my confession. I am quick to jump to the wrong conclusion. It is easy to forget the heart of my husband. 

Last night in the middle of the night I felt the presence of our dog Maybelle by the side of my bed. Not where she usually sleeps. I thought I had heard a car on the street start their engine and drive away. Opening my eyes, I realized there were still lights on in the house. Slipping on my bedroom shoes, I stepped over the dog and padded into the living room, where the foyer lights were blazing, the front porch light on. Front door locked. Good. Turning off the lights, I glanced toward the den where a low light burned. My husband must have fallen asleep watching television. I decided to let him be. I returned to bed. It was 2:45 AM.

Dozing off, I hear the alarm chime as the front door opens. A few minutes later my husband tries to quietly slip into the bed beside me. I sit up, and with annoyance in my tone ask, “What in the world are you doing?”

“I was worried about you driving to Greenville tomorrow. I went and filled up your gas tank.”

I was floored. Oh, yes, the gas shortage! I was thinking he had fallen asleep leaving every light on (for the daughter of Joe and Polly Tanner this is an egregious sin) but while I was sleeping, he was thinking about taking care of me. Oh. Here I am misjudging him. Again.

How quickly I run to the wrong assumption! The realization shames me.

On Saturday, I had written a poem, a prayer for a young woman who is getting married. There had been a bridal shower for her and the guests had been asked to give her scripture instead of gifts. It was so lovely and beautiful to hear the prayers and scripture spoken over this young woman as she prepared to enter into the holy union God created called marriage.

God had placed on my heart to give her this tiny verse of scripture  from the love song of Solomon,

“Most beautiful of women, is your beloved different from everyone else? What is there so wonderful about him?”  Song of Solomon 5:9 

Many years ago, I had taught that book of scripture through Community Bible Study and their commentary shared this profound insight; when the first bright bloom of love fades and changes as time moves on, it is easy to do as the bride of Solomon did – find it too tiresome to welcome the knock of her loved one. She answers his call at her gate with the ageless excuses; she is already in bed, she has washed her feet and turned out the light. He leaves. She realizes she shouldn’t have dismissed him so easily. She rushes to the gate, he is gone.

She looks for him and appeals to her sisters to help her. They ask her this question – which is really a reminder – “Why do you seek him? Tell us what is wonderful about him!”

This is what we need as married women; other women to encourage us to see the wonders in our husbands instead of searching for the failings. I have heard it too often – finding connection with our friends by complaining about our husbands. I don't think men fall into this trap as often as we women do. God tells us to remind each other of the good we see in one another. Especially our husbands.

Yes, I know this is scripture that tells of the sexual love between a husband and wife. Yes, I know it also can be interpreted as the passionate love between Jesus and his bride, the Church. But since God's word is as sharp as a knife, it can easily expose the heart of relationships and remind us our thoughts, our words, and our actions either tear down or build up our loved ones.

May I be quicker to think the best of my beloved.

I am sharing with you what I wrote on Saturday for the daughter of my friend. May it speak to your heart and encourage you.

A Song of Love

Sing with me a Song of Love. Song of Solomon is a beautifully complex story of both human love and God’s spiritual love. 

Hidden within its story is a tiny truth for marriage. 

It is so obscure and subtle you can almost pass it by:

“Most beautiful of women, is your beloved different from everyone else?

What is there so wonderful about him…”

Song of Solomon 5:9 

It is too easy in our culture to forget that our beloved is different from everyone else. 

It is too easy to allow the day after day little things to gradually cool our love 

for our one and only beloved.

It is too easy to listen to friends complain about their husbands 

and join in with 

our own special criticisms and frustrations.

It is too easy to close the gate and resent his knock.

Instead

Seek him.

Pursue him.

Just as the Lord pursues you.

Surround yourself with other women who care deeply about your marriage.

Surround yourself with friends who remind you that your beloved is worth 

searching and fighting for.

Surround yourself with a best friend who will walk beside you and say,

“Tell me. Tell me what made you fall in love with him? 

How was he different from all the rest? 

Tell me the wonderful things you love about him!”

Most beautiful of women, is your beloved different from everyone else?

Your answer is always, Yes.

He is my beloved.